A Season of Renewal

Can a woman forget her nursing child,
And not have compassion on the son of her womb?
Surely they may forget,
Yet I will not forget you.
See, I have inscribed you on the palms of My hands;
Your walls are continually before me. 
{Isaiah 49:15-16 NKJV}

He has written us on His hands. We never leave His mind. He bears the scar of His love for us forever. Yet He remembers our sin no more. It's gone, wiped clean, and we stand before the Father bearing the image of His Son's perfection. This memory of our Lord, it is a marvelous thing.

As I awaken from the haze that is a first trimester of pregnancy, I'm renewing habits and family traditions that have fallen off the calendar for months. Food inspires me again (for a while it was my enemy). I've been blessed with energy to play and create with the girls. In fact, I attended my first homeschool conference as mother and former student this past weekend and came away feeling both pumped and soothed. I've been nervously researching methods, curriculum, and schedules for preschoolers for a month or two, and felt apprehensive and intimidated. Thankfully I attended a seminar for parents of preschoolers based on the Charlotte Mason Method (which I've always admired) that relieved my fears. I'm throwing traditional preschool out the window, and we're going to read (and read and read), play, paint, and run around outside until Kindergarten. With a new little one joining our family this winter, a relaxed schedule is important to me. This will be perfect for our family. As we settle into a rhythm, I'll share our "schedule" and some ideas as we figure out what works and what doesn't.

One last thing. This hearty stew is simmering in the slow-cooker now. I haven't made it in a long time and I'd forgotten how easy and healthy it is. There's something peaceful about chopping up fresh veggies and stirring them together for your family. I love on my people with food.

Crockpot Vegetable Soup with Potatoes

1# hamburger, browned and drained
2 15-oz cans diced tomatoes
2 carrots, sliced
1 onion, chopped
2 potatoes, diced
2 garlic cloves, minced
1 14-oz can tomato sauce
2 beef bouillon cubes
1 cup water
1 cup frozen corn
1 cup frozen peas

1. Combine all ingredients in the slow cooker.
2. Cover. Cook on LOW 8-10 hours.

Tips: If using leftover vegetables that are precooked, add during the last hour of cooking so they don't turn to mush. For a vegetarian version, use pre-cooked dried beans or lentils, and substitute a cup of vegetable broth for the bouillon cubes and water.

Until next time...may you all find yourself in a season of renewal and peace. Love to you.

The Fresh Start

photo credit

The afternoon sunlight filtered through the blinds as I slid out of the wrong side of bed, trying not to disturb the little one snoozing on my pillow. She fell asleep quickly, after a morning of attitude and drama. Some days it seems like she has all the emotions of a grown woman in a three-year-old body.

I headed to the bathroom to wash the morning off and tried to decompress two months of stress in ten minutes (it didn't work). 


Motherhood is hard. Give of yourself, without feeding yourself, and eventually you'll have nothing left to give.


All my complaints hit the cold walls of the shower and bounced back, echoing until they multiplied into more than I could bear.


The tile obviously wasn't listening. So I lifted my pain to the One who always listens, even when what hurts is something under which only this foolish heart would buckle.


Good Friday. If I'm called to lay my self down and offer grace and peace to my children as a sacrifice to Him, how small is that gift compared to the Gift? The day that the Son was put to trial and executed, when His creation turned its back on Him is called good. Good for us. He loved us first, before there was time and before we realized that we are incomplete. 


I'm learning that my sacrifice of praise is good to His ears, and good to my soul.


********************************************************************************


We celebrated the Resurrection yesterday. Today is a fresh start. He Is Risen. 


(I also got 7 hours of sleep last night, and made it to work out this morning at 5am. A fresh start indeed.)

Healer

photo credit

From my prayer journal yesterday:

Lord, be merciful to me; Heal my sou, for I have sinned against You. {Psalm 41:4}

My soul is what needs to be healed after I wound God with my sin.

A Daily Prayer

Lord, use me to love them. 

I'm still learning how to allow Him to answer that one.

In the calm of early morning, even before the soft beep of the coffee maker breaks the silence, my heart overflows with longing to be better for them. To fully embrace my role and dive into my calling as his wife and their mama. The triumphs in my wife-ing and mothering are still so imperfect. God is using my husband and children to teach me to be holy. As I learn how to "do" better, everything I do matters less. It's Who He is that matters.

The Megaphone

My family is welcoming Spring this week.

I am more often reminded to focus on Christ during the Easter season than any other time of year. My particular church doesn't observe Lent, but I am so drawn to it. 40 days to remember. To take a month to focus on the sacrifice of Jesus.


Personally, this time of year means so much to me. Four years ago, my husband and I went through a trial by fire and came out the other side shaken and scarred, but not finished. A few days later, we drank in our church's Easter Sunday service, thirsty for a fresh start. Three years ago, my Spring baby made me a mother.


I wonder if I'll look back on Spring 2011 as a significant season. For the last three weeks I've been sick. I spent eleven days in excruciating pain. At first I wondered where God was and why He wasn't protecting me. After all, I've been "good" lately. I've been seeking after Him through daily quiet time and weekly Bible study and church services. If "pain is God's megaphone to rouse a deaf world" (C.S. Lewis) then obviously He'd gotten the wrong gal. I wasn't deaf to His whispers. I have been earnestly chasing a closer relationship with Him for several months now.


So I threw a tantrum. I was fearful. I doubted.


Then I picked up my Bible and read Psalm 27.


My husband had told me that his prayers were being answered, over and over, with "Wait on the Lord." My sweet friends and family had encouraged me to not fear, to wait, to trust.


So I read the psalm and simultaneously got a rebuke and a hug from the Lord.


He used pain to draw me closer to Him. To grow stronger. To trust deeper. He used it to beckon my husband to stay in constant communion with Him.


Now that a diagnosis and treatment plan looks to be mere days away, and I have some space to look back, I can clearly see His hand. The whole saga was choreographed to His will.


I have more to say about it, but I'll leave this alone for now, and end with Psalm 27.


The LORD is my light and my salvation;
Whom shall I fear?
The LORD is the strength of my life;
Of whom shall I be afraid?
When the wicked came against me
To eat up my flesh,
My enemies and foes,
They stumbled and fell.
Though an army may encamp against me,
My heart shall not fear;
Though war may rise against me,
In this I will be confident.
One thing I have desired of the LORD,
That will I seek:
That I may dwell in the house of the LORD
All the days of my life,
To behold the beauty of the LORD,
And to inquire in His temple.
For in the time of trouble
He shall hide me in His pavilion;
In the secret place of His tabernacle
He shall hide me;
He shall set me high upon a rock.
And now my head shall be lifted up above my enemies all around me;
Therefore I will offer sacrifices of joy in His tabernacle;
I will sing, yes, I will sing praises to the LORD.
Hear, O LORD, when I cry with my voice!
Have mercy also upon me, and answer me.
When You said, "Seek My face,"
My heart said to You, "Your face, LORD, I will seek."
Do not turn Your face from me;
Do not turn Your servant away in anger;
You have been my help;
Do not leave me nor forsake me,
O God of my salvation.
When my father and my mother forsake me,
Then the LORD will take care of me.
Teach me Your way, O LORD,
And lead me in a smooth path, because of my enemies.
Do not deliver me to the will of my adversaries;
For false witnesses have risen against me,
And such as breathe out violence.
I would have lost heart, unless I had believed
That I would see the goodness of the LORD
In the land of the living.
Wait on the LORD;
Be of good courage,
And He shall strengthen your heart;
Wait, I say, on the LORD!

Compassion

I just put the finishing touches on a packet to mail off to the Ugandan child we sponsor through Compassion International. It’s a reply to her letter telling me about her favorite things. I read it and cried. It turns out she loves to cook. She dreams of becoming a doctor. I told her that K’s favorite color is pink and that we love to cook too. I told her that we love her and we pray for her every day.

Folding the letter in half, enclosing another picture of us and a scribbled drawing of K’s, I wondered how long it will take to make the journey from Texas to Uganda. Curious, I typed our locations into google maps.

“We could not calculate the distance between Houston, TX and Uganda.”

The message sat on the screen. I looked around my warm, safe apartment, where two healthy and fed babies of mine are sleeping. My refrigerator and pantry are full to overflowing. My husband - who is also healthy and fed - is out working to provide for me and our children.

It turns out I can’t calculate the distance between where I live and where my sweet sponsored child lives either.

{To sponsor a child through Compassion International, visit compassion.com}

Ordinary Exultations

A Christian.
A wife.
A mother.


Someone quite ordinary.


That's who I am.


But the One Who made me has been whispering in my ear that perhaps when we understand how ordinary we are, He can use us in bigger ways.


So here I am. This is meant to be a glimpse into my world, small and imperfect. From the everyday rhythm of my life as the keeper of my home, to the eternal truths that God weaves into each day, this is meant to be a place of encouragement and hope.


These words have been stirring my soul for a season, and it's time to humbly offer them to you.